Life is Hard but Death is Easy
by TeeNLollYPoP
Summary: Bella's a 17 year old High School student from Forks. She gets bullied and rumours are spread. She's alone and she's afraid of those around her. After losing so much, she needs someone to confide in. Could a certain guy change her view of life? Could a girl change a certain guy's view of love? She'll hurt and he'll learn but, how much more can Bella take before she breaks for good?
1. I Grew up

**A/N: Hey guys! A new story for you all. This is rather different than my last Twilight ff, but I am very excited about it! It's a lot more emotional and there are no vampires in this one guys! Anyways, I won't keep you all; I know you'll just want to read so… off you go! :* **

1. I Grew up

(BPOV)

Okay, living? Yeah, not as easy as I thought it was going to be.

When I was a kid, I was free. I was in my own little world and I had no worries. It's different now though. Why? Because… I grew up. Every fear I never had as a kid has come bustling into my life over the past 8 years. Those fears are real. They don't go away if someone gives you a hug.

I guess you could say that I'm lost. It's like I'm in a room full of mirrors every day. You know there has to be a way out but you just can't seem to find it. You're drowning in confusion and illusion. It's the same thing being repeated over and over again, everywhere you turn. That's the story of my life.

I lived with my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister. Now, they're all gone. One by one they were taken away from me in such different circumstances.

My mom - Renee - died giving birth to my sister when I was 9 and soon after, my father - Charlie - died when his fishing boat sunk out at sea. My brother was 21 at the time and he was left with me and my little sister – Avery. My Auntie Sue moved in to help us, but we still couldn't afford to live the way we were. Jason (my brother) was just finishing his training for the U.S army when we needed serious help. He left for Afghanistan a month after he finished that training. He came home once, when I was 11, and I never saw him again when he went back out to fight. That leaves me with Avery. She disappeared last year just after my 16th birthday. 2 months after she was declared a missing child, her body was found buried in the woods by the border of Forks. She was only 7 for Christ's sake.

I find that most of the time I just can't cope with everything. All that has happened will sometimes catch up on me and I'll be seconds away from giving up. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I need to live _for_ my family now – since I can't be _with_ them.

I'm not quite done yet though. Something happened to me when I was 13. It may sound really strange, but I don't remember any of it apart from one sentence that was spoken by a voice I did not recognize. It was a man.

'I'll find you one day, Bella.' Is what he said to me.

Bella is my name by the way, in case you didn't quite get that. It gets worse than that though. I'm always going to have reminders of the fact that something frightening went on that night. Something truly terrifying.

I have perfectly aligned scars down both of my arms; cut exactly in line in diagonal stripes. The other thing I have is permanently etched on the back of my neck. It's like a tattoo of some sort but I never felt the pain – simply because I couldn't remember it even getting done. It all happened on that night without a doubt. I didn't cut myself – I know that for sure.

'Life is hard. Death is easy, peaceful.' Are the words on my skin.

It gets worse. I have to try and hide these things out of fear. I don't know who took me that night or how. They could be anywhere at any time – watching me. That's the scariest part.

My next issue is school. I'm not exaggerating when I say every single person in that place thinks I'm a psycho. They haven't seen the scars or the writing, but they just seem to think they _know_. I'm not crazy, I promise I'm not. I just wish other people could see that. I literally don't have a person to turn to if I need help – which is every day. Sue and I can barely keep a roof over our heads without the issue of the stares and rumours as well. The townsfolk know that I have no close family, but that's about it. They don't know the hows and the whys…

I want to have a friend or two, you know? Someone to confide in when I realise I have no one else. Since, the rumours have already been spread here in Forks… there is _no way_ that can ever happen.

Loneliness isn't exactly foreign to me now, but it still hurts. No matter how long this lasts for, it's always going to hurt me. To look back and to remember all the pain will physically drain me in 10 years' time.

That's the point though. I just have to keep looking forward. If I get stuck in the past, I'm done for.

If I don't keep my head up, I know what will happen. I'll just slip further and further away and I can't handle that. I need to stay strong for my family. If I don't… who else will?

I think the bullying is the worst part, because you can't do anything if no one listens. You just have to endure it. People rarely hurt me physically but I'd rather they did. The emotional and mental bit is the most torturous. Your mind is the one place you can't escape and when it works overtime, things start going wrong and you make bad decisions.

I think there is only so many times a heart can break before it becomes unbearable. If my heart splits in half one more time… I think I'll have reached that point.

It's sad because I know it's going to happen.

The question is…

When?

**A/N: Rate and review please. Let me know what you think. – Lauren :***


	2. Green Eyed Guy

**A/N: Next chapter! Enjoy all of you! **

2. Green Eyed Guy

(BPOV)

Walking through the hallways of Forks High school is much the same as always. Mondays seem to be the worst because everyone is in a terrible mood, due to the fact that they actually have to be here. The hopeless teenagers laugh and stare at me. They throw names or smart remarks my way – usually referring to the idea of me being crazy in some way. I don't really care about that part. It's when they mention my family that makes me want to break down and cry. I don't know if I _can_ cry anymore to be honest.

Why do you not fight back, you ask?

Because, when I tried, it got worse. I got full on slapped by Tanya Denali for answering her back because, apparently that's 'unacceptable'. This occurrence only caused more humiliation on my part, so the laughing got louder and their remarks became more frequent.

Fighting back isn't an option. Speaking to a teacher isn't an option, because they all think I'm crazy too. My last choice is family and well, since I don't really have anything along those lines, it doesn't really count does it? I have Sue, I know, but we aren't close. We don't really talk much and we are both quite happy just to get on with our lives that way.

I was so lost in thought that I managed not to notice the open locker in front of me and smacked, face first, into it. It doesn't end there though, oh no, no, no. Someone was standing on the other side of the locker door and… you can guess what happened next probably. Correct. It crashed into the side of that person's face. Oh and by the way… it rebounded back into me again. I started apologising as fast as I could, fully expecting someone to wallop me. People were laughing louder than they already were.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't see the…" I trailed off sounding like a complete moron. I face palmed, hurting my already painful forehead.

The guy I just damaged was rubbing his ear where the locker door hit him and gave me the deadliest glare he could possibly manage. I cringed back at the intensity of his gaze. Oh man. It's Riley… Riley Biers. I'm dead. I'm so gonna die in a second.

"Are you fucking blind? Are your eyes, fuck… do they work? Do you even have a fucking brain? Oh, wait you do! It's just fucked up, isn't it?" He practically growled at me before slamming his locker shut properly and storming off.

Sheesh. I don't think he could have fit the 'f' word in there again. I sighed in relief though as he went out of sight. I didn't realise how tightly I was gripping my books until I looked down and saw my fingertips were white. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a little before carrying on my walk to first period class.

* * *

The day passed pretty quickly. I am so clumsy that it's actually not believable. At lunch, I managed to walk into a class room with Kate and Tyler making out in it. I walked into the door frame in my attempt to get out quickly. I heard a few people chuckling close by, but I didn't care enough to check who they were.

Walking down the stairs from last period class – Biology – on a Monday, is seriously not a nice experience so, I always hang about for 10 minutes to let the place clear before I attempt to move anywhere. If I did move, I would probably be thrown over the side of the stairway to the monsters below.

When I did start walking slowly, I thought I heard some students coming out late maybe, so I ran for the stairway. As I swung round the corner of the second set of stairs, I crashed literally head on into someone. It was extremely painful, considering the fact that he was running up the stairs and I was running down them.

"Holy shit! Are you okay? Fuck, that hurt." He was hunched over and had started gasping before I could apologise.

"I'm so sorry! Are _you_ okay? Oh my god! How many times in one day can that possibly hap-" I was cut off instantly when we made eye contact. We were mere inches apart and he had the loveliest green eyes I had ever seen in my life.

We were both silent for a moment, none of us saying anything. Just staring at each other. That was until my mind caught up with what just happened and I realised who exactly I was staring at.

Edward Cullen.

My eyes widened as I processed this.

Really? Edward Cullen? The most popular guy at school… It just had to happen didn't it?

He was still hunched over and as he straightened up, I took a step backwards as reality struck again at who this was. He was probably going to knock me out.

I went into even more shock as I watched a small smirk appear on his face. What on earth…? He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me accusingly. Subconsciously, I took another step backwards, resulting in me pinning myself against the railings. As I did this, a look passed through his eyes that was rather strange. He looked… confused maybe?

He gathered himself quickly and said, "You sure do have a habit of bumping into things you shouldn't."

He shook his head smiling, not smirking this time, before walking up the stairs holding his side.

Did I hurt him? It looked as though I may have winded him? Now it was my turn to be confused at his words. Had he seen me making a complete fool of myself? I sure as hell hope he didn't, because it's likely that he will have told everyone by now.

* * *

When I arrived home, I had a letter from the hospital telling me I had to go in for a check-up. This happens every month or so – they want to make sure I'm not going insane or anything. This started when I took too many pills a couple of years back and they thought I had tried to kill myself. Maybe I did…

_*Miss Bella Swan,_

_I am writing to inform you that your monthly check-up at Forks General is due on Friday at 4.30pm. Doctor Ericson has transferred to Port Angeles to attend a four year long surgeon's course, so he will not be your Doctor as of now. Any future appointments will be taken by Doctor Cullen. We hope to see you there._

_Forks General__ *_

Cullen… Oh my god. This can't get any worse.

**A/N: Review guys. Let me know what you are thinking? – Lauren :***


	3. Brown Eyed Girl

**A/N: Thanks to SunflowerFran and silfran for the reviews. Thanks to everyone who is reading and following etc. Hope you like this… Have a look at my other ff if you haven't already. She Makes me Speechless is almost finished now. It is coming to an end soon:) **

3. Brown Eyed Girl

(EPOV)

Forks High School is ridiculous. Somehow I've ended up the 'top pop' of this hell hole. I'm the captain of the football team and I'm a straight A student. My adopted siblings are up at the top as well: Rosalie and Alice are on the cheerleading squad and Emmet and Jasper are part of the football team along with me. Well they aren't all adopted – only Rose and Jasper.

The reason I find it ridiculous is because of the fact that people practically bow down before you as you walk the hallways. They all want to be your best friend and they never stop staring. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be popular than be like the girl currently about to be slaughtered by Riley Biers. If I was her, I would run.

She had just smashed her face into an open locker door, unintentionally of course, whilst looking like she was lost in thought. I think the girl is Isabella Swan… Yeah that's her. The stupid people who make their little lists, have put her below unpopular. I agree, she is below unpopular, but why is that a reason to be so rude? The thing is, I can't really talk. To keep my status good, I need to be like all those people. I need to be cruel to people like Isabella. I have never spoken to the girl before and I hope I never have to. She looks so innocent and vulnerable looking at her from a distance.

With Emmet and Alice by my side, we watched the scene unfold before us. She stood frozen on the spot, in shock probably – I couldn't tell because there was no way of seeing her face from so far away. I would swear down on my own life that Riley was trying to kill her with his eyes when he looked down on her. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Alice flinch beside me as if she were standing there herself. I could hear perfectly clearly when Isabella started apologising profusely.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't see the…" She stopped suddenly and hit herself in the face, as if she were trying to knock the clumsiness out of herself. She winced at the pain, I presume because that's where the locker hit her, and closed her eyes tightly for a moment. Everyone in the corridor was laughing not so discreetly.

Riley was fuming with anger. For a split second, I thought he was going to hit her. I think Emmet did as well, because he started edging forward ever so slightly as if he were going to help her.

Biers growled at her when he spoke. "Are you fucking blind? Are your eyes, fuck… do they work? Do you even have a fucking brain? Oh, wait you do! It's just fucked up, isn't it?"

Use fuck enough in there Riley? Everyone always refers to her as being mad in some way and I really don't think she is. I don't know much about her either, I only know that she keeps completely to herself and that no one wants to speak to her. I will never understand why…

Riley slammed shut his locker before stomping away and the girl just stood there. She had a pile of books wrapped in her arms securely. She was probably trying to move on from what just happened and let the laughing die down. After a minute, she carried on walking the way she was before all the commotion.

I shared a glance with Emmet and then Alice, silently expressing that we saw what just happened. They treat her like she's not human. I do it with them as well, but that's because of my status – as I said. I don't really have a choice…

Alice has English first period and Emmet has Chemistry. I have maths. I just _love_ Mondays.

* * *

At lunch, Emmet and I were to collect notes from P.E studies we missed last week when we were away camping. As we were walking down the corridor, I caught sight of Isabella walking towards one of the classrooms. The only reason I actually noticed her is because I was thinking about her for most of the day. I don't know why either. I also noticed her because, the classroom she was heading towards, was the 'seven minutes in heaven base' so to speak. Today, I think its Kate and Tyler in there.

My guesses were confirmed when I saw the expression on her face after practically sprinting out of the classroom. Emmet must have noticed the whole thing as well because we both started laughing. I tried to muffle it by putting my hand over my mouth. I don't even get why it was so comical, but her face was a picture.

* * *

I got a slip today during last period telling me to go and speak with Mr. Banner in Sc4 at the end of the day. Apparently, I was being moved to an advanced Biology class next week. When I left my final class, I easily made my way through the crowd towards the stairs.

As I was running up the stairs, I started considering who would be in this new Biology class. It would be the smart kids of course – the ones considered to be below unpopular. I guess it would be a nice change. None of them stare at us… they don't care enough to do so. I wonder if maybe Isabella will be…

I was cut off from my thoughts when something small crashed into my chest really hard, completely knocking the wind out of me.

"Holy shit! Are you okay? Fuck, that hurt." I hunched over slightly in pain.

Thick mahogany hair swept passed my face as the person steadied themselves. This girl smelled absolutely amazing – like strawberries.

"I'm so sorry! Are _you_ okay? Oh my god! How many times in one day can that possibly hap-" She cut herself off suddenly, when our eyes locked.

I realised how close our faces were. In the second I did realise how close we were, I also noticed her chocolate brown eyes boring into mine. They were mesmerising. I was momentarily lost in them, until her eyes widened and she took a step backwards as I straightened myself.

Still amused by the fact at how clumsy she is, I smirked to myself – probably looking a bit strange in the process. I had never seen her up close before… She was actually really pretty. I crossed my arms as I began to slowly look over her.

She was wearing her long hair down loose and it cascaded over her shoulders, providing a curtain for her to hide behind. I trailed down, finding her wearing a plain black, long sleeved button up shirt and a black and white scarf around her neck. She had blue denim jeans on and black lace up boots. I couldn't help but notice that she has curves in _all_ the _right_ places.

She took another step backwards and I was confused by the action. It was like she couldn't get far enough away from me. She was right back against the railings.

I was still watching her and I noticed how pale she is and also how covered up she is compared to many other girls at this school. Everything seemed to be covered apart from her face and her hands. Covered up or not, she was still beautiful…

I caught myself ogling her and tried to find a way out of this now awkward confrontation.

I composed my face and said, "You sure do have a habit of bumping into things you shouldn't."

I didn't mean for it to sound threatening. I meant it as in, she bumps into the wrong people at the wrong times. If I had been _with_ anyone, I know for sure that I would have been just as horrible as Riley was this morning.

Isabella frowned at me in confusion and I shook my head at both of us, smiling to myself, before continuing up the stairs, without another word.

I can't believe I have never noticed how lovely she looks. I could have very easily leaned in and kissed her there – which kind of scared me. I shook that thought away quickly. She just smelled so fucking good and she looked good enough to eat. What the fuck Cullen? Since when did you want to eat people?

* * *

Upon arriving home, I went to find my father – Carlisle – to tell him about the advanced Biology move. He'll love it. He is the best doctor in this town and I want to do that sort of thing as well when I leave school. I presumed he would be in his office on the second floor, so that's where I went.

I knocked on the door and a matter of seconds later, he told me to enter.

"Hey dad." I said as I walked in.

"Hi Edward. Can I help you with something? Are you alright?" I loved my dad so, so much. There is only one thing I can say I dislike about him. It's the fact that most of the time he acts as my doctor, not my father.

"Ehm no. I just wanted to tell you something, if you have a minute." I paused noticing that he looked rather preoccupied with some papers on his desk. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, sorry. I have a new patient that I'm meeting for her first check up on Friday. I'm just looking over her files just now. There isn't that much information on her or her family…" He spoke curiously.

"Oh, that doesn't sound good. Isn't there usually like 10 pages about each patient?" I asked in confusion.

He nodded at me. "Yes. Usually there is, but this girl only has one. She is ages with you and her birthday is here… I don't know… there is only one page here."

"Well, that's sort of mysterious..." I said quietly.

"It sure is." He stopped in thought for a minute or so and then asked, "What was it you wanted to tell me? Is it an explanation as to why you were late home today?"

"Oh, yeah. Um, I got a note today and I had to go to meet Mr. Banner… I'm starting an advanced Biology class on Monday instead of the one I'm in just now."

"That's Brilliant son! Well done!" He said enthusiastically.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"Edward…"

"Yes?" I pushed when he didn't say anything.

"Is there… Is there anyone in your year at school that… I don't know… acts strangely?" He wondered.

"Dad, there are a lot of people in my year at school that act strangely."

"I agree. But, does anyone stand out to you in particular. I mean, you know everyone, right?"

"Sort of. I know who most people are, but I can't say I know them all personally." I said honestly.

"Alright, ehm… Actually, never mind just now. I think I'll wait until I meet her. Thank you."

"Okay then…"

I turned to walk out the room and head down to the kitchen when I heard Alice shouting at Rosalie.

"It's just unfair! What did she ever do to any of you? You're all just bitches Rose! That's all you are! You're a horrible, cruel and rude bitch!" Alice stormed out into the hall.

"What's going on pixie?" I asked.

"Some of you stupid popular people are Class A dickheads. I don't like it Edward. I really don't. You better not be treating people the way Riley does. Or even the way Rose does."

"What did she do now?"

"She was saying something about Bella at lunch and everyone was laughing." She pouted.

"Bella?" I asked in confusion. Who's Bella?

"Bella Swan?" She probed.

"Ohhhh, Isabella?"

"Yeah, but she prefers Bella. She's in my AP English class, maths class and P.E class."

"Oh." I said lamely. I really wanted to know what Rose had said and why but I thought better of it.

It's better just not to get involved in their stupid girl drama. You learn that through time. If you get involved in things that have nothing to do with you, it causes trouble.

I had so much on my mind tonight: Isab-… Bella, Biology, Carlisle, files, Alice, Rose…

I think it's going to be difficult for me to shut down my mind tonight and let unconsciousness take over.

**A/N: Hope you liked. First Edward POV. I will upload again soon… Review please **** Favourite, follow and PM me! Let me know what you're thinking – it makes me smile, like this :D – Lauren :***


	4. Irritable

**A/N: Thank you ever so much for your reviews. I'm glad you are seemingly enjoying this fan fic so far! What do you all think will happen next? **

4. Irritable

(EPOV)

Thank fuck it's Friday. That's the only words that come to mind when trying to describe my feelings at this moment in time.

On a Friday, all my worries seem to disappear – like they weren't there in the first place.

You know how I had the Collision with that girl on Monday? Yeah, I haven't seen her since then. It was strange. For such a small school, with not a lot of people in it, you'd think I'd have seen her around. I mainly wanted to watch her. Don't cry creep yet… I only want to see if her clumsiness is permanently built in, or if she could find a way out of it. Highly unlikely that she could after witnessing all that shit on Monday.

* * *

Fourth class before lunch, I had my last class with Miss Strutner – before I moved to advanced Biology on Monday. I somehow ended up having a conversation with her about what to expect when I move up, as Emmet waited impatiently by the door. Someone looks hungry. I better try and cut this off somehow. Maybe I could try and play the toilet card, or maybe even the 'I feel sick' card…

Before I could do either, Emmet stepped in.

"Please do excuse me Miss, my father has just called and asked if he could urgently speak to Edward…" He said in all politeness.

"Oh, sorry dear. Of course you can go. I hope everything's okay." She said in genuine worry.

"Thank you." I gave her a smile in thanks, for teaching me included, and exited the room.

I think I will miss her as my teacher. She wasn't too strict or anything, you know? She was really easy to get along with and if you were struggling, she would know.

"Hey dude. We've barely spoken this week. How are you?" He smirked at me. Something about him was off.

"Um, yeah, I'm good." I said warily.

"Dad did actually call by the way. I just remembered and thought it would be a good excuse to use."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he said your phone must be off."

I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and saw that it was in actual fact turned off. I must've done that last night when I was trying to get away from Tanya's constant flirty texts. By the way, Tanya is captain of the cheerleading squad and she seems to think I am totally in love with her. It's honestly the complete opposite. Everything about her, I dislike. Her perfume, her make-up, her flat eyes, her fake tan and how fucking clingy she is.

"Hmph." I paused. "I'll just call him while we're walking to the cafeteria."

I searched my contacts for my dad and hit the green call button. He answered on the 2nd ring.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hey dad. Emmet just told me you called and wanted to speak to me. Sorry my phone was off, Tan- ehm, someone was being a pain."

"No, that's fine. I was just going to ask you if you knew Isa-" He was cut off when a loud 'ouch' sounded.

Fucking hell. Emmet and I had just rounded the corner going _into_ the cafeteria and guess who was just exiting?

Emmet must have been listening in on the phone call with our dad, because he said "Speak of the devil…"

I looked in front of me to find Bella clutching her forehead in pain. The way she had rounded the corner had caused her to rebound off of my chest and smack her head off of the wall. She looked up at me through her lashes shyly. Caught.

She had been trying to avoid me all week, hadn't she?

Completely forgetting that my dad was on the phone still I spoke softly to her, "Are you okay, Bella?" I liked the way her name sounded when I said it…

"I'm fine. Sorry… again." She answered instantly, almost too fast. It was like it was rehearsed.

"You know… You are going to get a permanent bump there." I said jokingly.

I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I reached up and touched her forehead gently. She flinched slightly as I raised my hand. I was turning into my dad. I suddenly realised that I was checking to see if there actually was a bump. I quickly pulled my hand back and I was extremely aware of where we were standing.

I glance up quickly to see if anyone was watching…

Thank god. It seems that only Emmet was watching and he had a smirk on his face. I had the urge to slap him really hard.

I turned my attention back to the girl as she spoke "I um… I'm gonna go… sorry, um… me… g-go…n-now. Yeah. Bye." She stuttered before walking back the way Emmet and I had come.

I stared after her. That was weird.

I looked down at my phone and found that my dad was still there and he had heard all of that.

"Uhm, sorry about that dad. There was a bit of an… incident."

"Yeah I figured. So, you do know Isabella… Or Bella, did you call her?"

"I don't know her. I only first spoke to her on Monday. We kind of crashed into each other on the stairway…"

"Wait… So this is the second time you have bumped into her?"

"Ehm, yeah." I was confused at what Carlisle was getting at.

He scoffed in the back ground and told me he would speak to me later tonight. He hung up and I put my phone back in my pocket.

I turned back to Emmet to find a bigger smirk plastered across his face.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You were fucking nice to her. I'm standing here and you were fucking nice to her." He said incredulously.

"Shit." I cursed. "I didn't mean to, I just… I don't know."

"I was gonna speak to you about _her_ actually. Alice and I saw her on Monday at the end of the day on the second floor." He took a breath. "She was just hanging about up there… maybe waiting for the place to clear. Alice and I were carrying on and I pushed her. She ran forward to try and prevent herself from falling. Bella… she like sprinted for the stairs. I'm not even exaggerating."

"Wait. She ran, because she heard you guys?" I asked.

"Well, she didn't know it was us. But, I think she ran because she heard someone. Anyone." He paused. "It just happened to be us."

He smirked at me again.

"We heard you swearing and then asking if someone was okay. Alice and I headed for the same stairs and we saw you two."

I frowned at him remembering the collision.

"Anyway, we heard a girl – which we already knew was Bella - and you guys were just staring at each other. It was freaky to watch. I don't know… It was weird. Bella kept backing away from you though…" He had an accusing look in his eyes.

"Fuck, no. I didn't do anything to her. Why would I? She's so innocent and cute... I was confused about that too. She looked almost scared. It sort of made me wonder what was going on in that pretty little head of hers…"

Emmet's jaw hit the floor.

"Dude… you… what?"

"Fuck. Did I say all that out loud? Shit. No. Ehm…" I stuttered uncomfortably. "Well, I… Pffft." I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm and towed me out of view.

"Edward Cullen. Shut up. Oh my god! I can't believe it!" He grinned at me. "You just called a girl 'pretty'."

"So?" I challenged.

His mouth nearly dropped again. "You have never referred to anyone like that other than Alice or Rose."

"Really?" I asked in shock.

He nodded his head.

My mouth formed the shape of an 'o'.

"Do you like her Edward?"

He stared at me expectantly.

"WHAT?!" I half shouted.

"Chill. It was just a question. Do you?"

"No! Why would I? I don't know her and she's not… she's not…" I couldn't force the words out of my mouth.

"Popular." Emmet finished for me.

"Gee, that sounded bad, didn't it?" I said ashamed of myself for even thinking it, never mind saying it.

"Yup." He looked at me silently. "You don't like saying stuff like that Edward. I can see it." He paused and then sighed. "I don't like doing it either. I hate seeing people get hurt."

"I know."

"How?"

"I saw you when Riley shouted at Bella. You wanted to go and help her, didn't you?" I summed up.

"I was seconds away from it Edward, I swear. I thought he was gonna hit her." He said in all seriousness.

"Hey guys!" Out popped Alice with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Holy fuck Alice!" Emmet shouted at the same time I cursed under my breath. She gave me a near damn heart attack.

"Nice to see you too." She smiled. "Before you ask, I wasn't eavesdropping. I was just leaning against a locker and my focus was on your conversation intently."

"So, in other words, you're a nosy bitch." Emmet snapped.

She just laughed at him, knowing he wasn't being serious.

"C'mon boys! Let's go get lunch before someone gets seriously injured." She slid me a sly glance and I nearly turned around and walked away.

Before I could, Alice grabbed my arm and dragged us to our usual lunch table.

* * *

The day went slowly after that. I couldn't stop thinking about the thing at lunch. I need to work on my filter.

Tanya was extra clingy at lunch and she was nearly sitting on top of me at the lunch table. I very nearly pushed her off of her chair, just to create some distance. The thing is, I'm not one for hitting girls. Not at all.

* * *

When I was walking through the car park I subconsciously slid my eyes over to where I knew Bella's truck would be. As I looked, she was reversing out of the space she was in and making her way out of the car park. What threw me was when she turned right instead of left. That's not the way to her house…

No, I'm not a stalker. Everyone knows where everyone lives in this place.

The only thing that way is the highway leaving Forks…

Wait.

Unless… she's going to the hospital.

Why?

**A/N: Thanks for reading. School tomorrow so I'm gonna hit the sack;) Or the pillow in my case. Good night all and please review. If you like this story, then… follow and favourite! Let me know what you think. It makes me smile **** - Lauren :***


	5. Shock

**A/N: I'm so glad to hear you guys are excited for more on this story! Since you are so eager, I won't keep you. Enjoy ;)**

5. Shock

(BPOV)

On my way to the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened at lunch today. I can't believe it physically happened. I don't know who the hell saw it, but I was vaguely aware of a very large figure beside Edward. Maybe his brother? I didn't really look to see. I was too busy trying not to die of embarrassment.

I was a little nervous about this appointment. It wasn't even the fact that it was Doctor Cullen although, out of 4 other doctors it could have been, it was really messed up that he was the one that would become mine.

Auntie Sue has told me that Doctor Cullen took a psychiatric course when he was in his 20's, so he knows what he's doing.

Upon arriving at the hospital, the rain was now pouring down on Forks. I pulled into one of the only parking spaces in the lot and it just happened to be the furthest point from the building. I jumped out of my truck, slamming the door shut and I didn't even bother locking it. It's highly unlikely that anyone will steal it, right?

I ran as fast as I could through the downpour, probably looking like a state as I did so, and straight into the hospital.

My problem came when I couldn't stop myself in time to realise how slippery the floor was obviously going to be because of the rain. I didn't even notice I had actually slipped until I felt an iron grasp around my waist, effectively keeping me from falling on my backside.

I turned around to see who had saved me from a bruised coccyx.

Woah, what?

The guy standing by me was Emmet Cullen. What the… Seriously, another Cullen? He was grinning down at me and he had the sweetest dimples in the history of all dimples. His smile froze and nearly fell straight off of his face. I don't know why, but I didn't like it.

"Hey Bella."

"Um, I… Hi there." I sounded like a complete and utter dumbass.

"You okay?" He asked nicely.

"I'm fine." I paused. "Thanks for eh, yeah. Thanks."

"De nada!" He winked at me.

I laughed unintentionally. "What?"

"No problemo! I'm practicing my languages you see." He smiled warmly.

"Good luck with that." I said, finding it too easy to have a conversation with him.

"Thanks Bells" He smirked at me.

Did he just call me Bells?

"Ahh, welcome. You must be Bella Swan?" Doctor Cullen, well who I assumed it was, came up behind Emmet.

What is it with the nickname thing around here?

"Uh, yes. I'm Bella." I actually quite liked my name that way. It seemed more natural.

"Would you like to come with me and we can talk?" He offered.

"Sure."

I already liked this guy. He seemed like he would be easy to get on with. I went to walk away, until Emmet grabbed my arm and spun me round. I was shocked, to say the least.

"Just… Be careful Bella. Okay?" He said in complete seriousness.

I nodded, unable to find words. He smiled before walking away.

I looked back to Doctor Cullen to find him watching as if he was totally lost. He probably was. That was strange. This boy didn't know me – at all.

"Shall we?" He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yupp."

We walked along a few different corridors and then entered a small room that appeared to be an office.

"Take a seat Bella." I sat in a chair across from his. "Now, today… All I want to do is get to know you a bit better and you can get to know me too." He smiled kindly.

"Cool."

"So, let's start simple. Tell me your full name, where you're from and who you live with." I'm sure he already knew all of this stuff, but it was probably just for his notes, so I answered.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Forks. With my Auntie Sue."

"Alright. What age are you?"

"17."

"When is your birthday?"

"September 13th."

"Just passed? Well, happy belated birthday." He smiled again.

"Thank you."

"Would you prefer to be called Isabella or…"

"Bella is fine." I smiled back at him.

"Alright then. So, we're going to get onto more of the longer questions now, if that's okay with you?" He asked.

"That's fine. Ask away."

"Why do you live with your aunt? Where is the rest of your family?"

"My family are… they're… they're gone."

"Gone, gone?" I knew exactly what he meant, so I nodded.

He smiled sympathetically and I was thankful he didn't apologise. Sorry doesn't help so, why bother?

"Why don't you tell me about them and what happened if you will?"

"My mother, Renee, died when my sister was born. Charlie, you probably know what happened to him." He nodded, so I continued. "My aunt Sue moved in when they passed to help out. My brother, Jason, was 21 and he died fighting in Afghanistan. My sister, Avery, went missing and… you probably know about that too." He nodded again.

His phone suddenly buzzed out of the blue and he quickly flipped it over and skimmed a text – I assumed. He put it gently back on the desk before looking at me expectantly.

"That's it." I said.

"Is it?" He questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to you?" he paused to look at me intently. "Don't tell me 'nothing', because I can tell Bella. I know it wasn't pleasant. You can talk to me – that's why I'm here."

"I don't really know, if I should… I don't want to talk about it." I nearly snapped.

"I don't want to push you to tell me anything Bella, but, I can't be there for you if I don't know the whole story."

I looked into his eyes and all I saw was concern. For some reason, I trusted him. Without even considering what I was about to do… I hesitantly slid the sleeves up on both my arms to reveal my scars.

He tried to control his facial expression, he really did. But… he couldn't quite manage to do so, before I saw the shock.

I quickly tried to pull them down but he held up a hand to halt me in my movements.

"You… You didn't do that Bella… did you?" He questioned in sadness.

I shook my head, no.

"There's more…" I paused. "Not scars but… I… I can't. Not today."

"You can go home. It's alright. I'm very proud of you for that Bella. You are very brave." He smiled appraisingly.

"Thanks, Doctor Cullen."

"It's Carlisle to you." He smiled. It even reached his eyes.

"Carlisle." I corrected.

"Take it easy, Bella."

I didn't say anything before I left the room. I was just beginning to see what I had done in there.

I had let this random Doctor in… I had never done that with anyone.

This is wrong…

Something in me said that I knew Doctor Cullen better than I thought I did. I have no idea how…

**A/N: Review? - Lauren :***


	6. Friday Night just got more Intereseting

**A/N: Sorry I haven't uploaded for a while. I have been very busy, but here's the next chapter nonetheless. Thanks ever so much for all of your reviews and follows etc. It has made me all the more excited to write this story. Enjoy the chapter and leave a quick review for me :***

6. Friday Night just got more Interesting

(EPOV)

I love going home on Fridays after school. Emmet and I usually carry on for hours on end. Alice joins in sometimes to play chess or maybe even the odd video games.

Emmet and I were in the midst of a video game when Esme made her appearance known, Emmet turned his head to see who it was and it gave me the upper hand in the game. He went fucking ballistic. I honestly thought he was going to smash the T.V for a minute. Instead, when he met Esme's glare, he stomped his foot and threw himself back onto the couch beside me.

"Hi boys." My mom smiled at us.

"Hey mom." Emmet, Alice and I chimed in unison. We all rolled our eyes at each other.

"How was your week?" She asked all of us in interest. Mom does this every week.

"Hilarious." Replied Emmet.

"New" Chirped Alice.

"I, uhhhh… Interesting." I stuttered.

Alice giggled at me and I sent her a 'shut up' glare.

"Hmmmmm…" My mom eyed us curiously but she dropped it. "Where is Jasper and Rosalie?"

"Oh! Mom, remember… they are in Port Angeles for um, was it Maria's birthday dinner?" Alice looked at me for confirmation.

"Yeah, I'm sure that was it." Emmet looked confused as hell. "Emmet, that was the care home owner…"

"Ohhhhhhh." He nodded in understanding.

My mom turned to leave the room but turned when she got to the door.

"Emmet, before I forget, your father wants you to drop by the hospital with some documents he left in his office. He needs you to get there before half 4 because he has a new patient. You better leave now. It's…" She paused to look at the clock. "10 past!"

Emmet jumped up and ran for my dad's office. A matter of 30 seconds later he was back down stairs, grabbing his car keys and running for the front door.

"Oh, well, that was quick." My mom muttered before actually leaving the room this time.

"Round two?" Alice asked.

"You're on." I grinned.

* * *

About 40 minutes later, Emmet came bursting through the front door causing Alice to throw her controller in fright and me to fall off the sofa in my attempt to get away from the flying controller. I must admit, I did just about shit myself as well, but I managed to downplay that part.

He pulled out his phone and quickly began typing.

"Oh my god." Alice breathed with a hand over her heart.

"Emmet what the fff…-" I trailed off when I caught sight of my mom's reflection in the mirror.

"Shhhhhhh." Emmet hushed us.

Alice and I shared a wary glance.

"Guys, right, you know Bella?"

"Yeeessss…" Answered Alice for the both of us.

"Well, I, I saw her at the hospital. She um, she really is a magnet for trouble." He chuckled.

"What do you mean you saw her at the hospital? Why? I saw her going but…" I said confused.

"It was raining, she ran inside, the floor was wet and… yeah, she slipped. Luckily I was there or she would have fallen flat on her arse." He laughed.

"Language, Emmet." Mom cursed.

"Sorrryyyy. But, it's true though."

"Did you speak to her?" Alice asked.

"Yeah and here's the thing though…Her, um, her…" He was stuck for words here.

"Spit it out Emmet." I groaned in annoyance.

"One of her sleeves kind of slipped up a bit when I caught her and there's… there's lots of s-scars."

I froze in awe. Alice frowned and she looked so… sad. Mom, looked worried.

I was finally able to speak. "D-do you think, she, you know…"

"She couldn't… I mean, she wouldn't… why?" Alice gushed out.

"Kids, you don't know that she did…" Mom pointed out.

"We also don't know that she didn't." I challenged.

"True, but… don't think about it too much. It could turn out to be something different. You never know." And then she walked away and left us all standing there.

"Maybe she didn't do it. Something could have happened to her." Alice stated.

"Yeah, but, don't you think it seems likely that she would do it to herself?" Emmet said.

"What do you mean?" Alice and I questioned at the same time.

"Dude!" Alice shouted at me.

"Sorry, okay? Not my fault."

"I mean…" Emmet shut us up. "That, considering everything that happens in school _and_ the fact that she has like _no _family… Do you not think that she would, yeno…"

"Oh my goodness!" Alice half shouted.

"I know." Emmet said quietly.

"Wait, so, you're saying, that you think she is cutting herself because of people at school?" I summarised.

"Because of _your_ people at school." Emmet pointed at me.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Because of what you 'populars' do to her. It's plain cruel." Alice answered for him

"Excuse me, but the last time I checked, you two were part of us populars."

"Yeah, but we aren't part of the 'bitch and dick clan'." Alice snapped at me before storming out of the room.

"She's gotta point man." Emmet muttered before following her.

I sighed and flopped myself back down on the couch.

I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it.

I kept chanting that in my head. I need to do it… I need to start being mean to her. If I don't, I'll end up just like her.

God. I'm just as bad as them. I'm treating her like she's different and she's really not.

Either way, I know that I'm going to have to ice her out.

I mean… My status is more important, right?

**A/N: Ohhhh Edward. Get a grip of yourself! Did you like it? Let me know. Leave a review and make me smile :D – Lauren :***


	7. Change

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait everyone. Might have to be weekly updates. I hope you are enjoying and thanks to you all for everything. I don't want to keep you so, go ahead and read! :***

7. Change

(BPOV)

I've come to the conclusion that I don't know Doctor Cullen better than I think I do… It's the other way around. He knows me better than I thought he did. He called me about an hour after I left the hospital on Friday. Now that it's Sunday, I've had time to think his request over.

He wants to change my monthly visits, to weekly visits.

I think I'm gonna need it.

That is exactly the reason why I think he knows something. None of my doctors have done that before… Although, it seems I have spoken to Carlisle more than I spoke to my last doctor in the 6 years he was my doctor.

I don't know why I showed him my scars. I wish I hadn't. It's just… something automatic went through my body and before I knew it, I had rolled up my sleeves and revealed the worst part of my past, to a complete stranger. I just felt this uncontrollable emotion wash over me and I haven't felt that in years.

I'm scared in case I start to trust him.

I don't want to trust anybody.

Why? Because the people you trust are the ones who end up hurting you the most.

The part of my life that really shipped me up, was when my dad went missing. They told us that his boat sunk, but none of the pieces fit together. His boat sunk… they never found it. He died… they never found his body. It's as if, everything about him never existed… apart from me.

* * *

Lying in bed, I allowed my thoughts to wander wherever they want to go. I have had an extremely strange week in school this week.

The thing that worries me the most is that I have been more clumsy, if possible, than usual. Although it has been sort of strange. I somehow ended up bumping into the same person twice in one week and then his brother another once.

Oh my god. I'm so stupid that it's impossible.

"Uhhhgggg!" I groaned loudly and face palmed. It took me a second to remember that I wasn't the only one in the house.

A small knock on the door made me jump. Auntie Sue walked in after about 10 seconds.

"Honey, what are you shouting about?" she questioned worriedly.

"I'm sorry if I woke you. It's just been a long week and it starts again tomorrow." I wanted to shout again but I stopped myself. I really wanted a good night sleep as well.

"Are things okay at school?" she asked warily.

"Um, yeah. Just genetic problems." I said more to myself than Sue.

She laughed and shook her head before leaving the room.

It wasn't long after that, that I finally fell asleep.

* * *

I awoke in the morning with a start because of a loud booming sound. It came from outside so, I walked over to the window to investigate. I glanced at my clock on the wall to find that it was only half 5. So much for getting a good night sleep. I peered out only to discover rain pouring down. I fought the urge just to scream. As I was looking out, there was a sudden flash of light and another loud boom, causing me to jump out my skin. Thank god my window wasn't open or I would be going to the hospital rather than school.

Although, that doesn't seem like such a bad idea…

I shook my head at myself before walking into my bathroom for a shower.

After the shower, I decided not to blow dry my hair. It's just gonna get wet anyway, so why bother? My next challenge was clothes. Let's actually not make this a challenge. I don't honestly care.

Mission grab anything and put it on launched.

It was only 7 when I was finished getting ready and I just decided to go to school. I had nothing else to wait around for.

* * *

The parking lot was empty when I got there. People don't usually start coming until 8… so… another 40 minutes.

I had been so lost in my journal that I didn't notice someone walking towards my car until they were standing by my window. It's still raining, why is someone just standing there? I turned to see who this irritating person was, only to realise I wish I hadn't.

He held up a small object and I rolled down my window to see what it was.

It is a pen. And it's mine. And Edward Cullen is holding it.

"Um… this was… in my pocket." He stared at me confused.

Suddenly, my truck jolted to one side and before I knew it, I had jumped out of the car. I looked over my truck to see what the cause of the movement was. Flat tire.

I audibly groaned and then cut myself off when I noticed that Edward was still standing there.

It was bucketing down with rain and yet here I stood, now facing Edward Cullen.

"I figured it was yours because your um, your name's on it."

I don't know why I was, but I knew I was blushing.

"I, um, thanks?" It came out like a question.

"Don't ask why it was in my pocket because I have no idea." He scowled when he said that.

"I wasn't going to." I muttered.

After a minute of awkward silence he randomly smiled at me and he looked as though he was about to speak but then his expression changed in a matter of seconds.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

After that thought processed I heard a high pitched voice.

"Edward!"

Tanya Denali.

I could have sworn I heard Edward hiss 'Shit. No. Fuck me.'

"Ew!" She shouted. "Why are you standing next to that!"

Or in other words… Bella.

He gaped like a fish for a moment before replying with a simple, "Nothing."

"Ew, you look like a mop." She fired at me.

I turned to look at her for the first time this morning and saw that she had an umbrella over her head. She had her sidekicks too of course.

I gave her a false smile, "Well, you look like a clown."

If I heard correctly, I could have sworn Edward laughed.

"Eddie! Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?!" Tanya screeched.

He once again looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"No." he swallowed hard.

"Then…" Tanya probed. People were starting to stare over at us all. A crowd was gonna gather if this wasn't ended.

"Then…" He glared at me but there was something else in his eyes… "What do you think gives you the right to speak to her that way? Did your mom ever teach you any manners?" He practically growled at me.

I stared at him in awe as Tanya chuckled.

I turned on my heel, grabbed my books from my truck and fled from the parking lot.

That really hit home.

I fought tears the whole way to my locker. When I got there, I was so lost in my own thoughts that I jumped when someone said "Hey!" In a really chirpy voice next to me.

I turned to find Alice Cullen staring at me with a smile on her face.

The halls were filling with students and I was face to face with yet another one of Edward's siblings.

As I looked at this girl, her happiness, her smile, her kindness and saw passed the fact that she was Edward's sister…

I couldn't fight the tears anymore.

So, I didn't.

**A/N: I hope you liked… Please follow and favourite. Also, please review guys. You seem to be enjoying this, but it's nice to know what your thoughts are. – Lauren :***


	8. Words Hurt

**A/N: I mentioned in my other fic guys, that it's looking like it's gonna be weekly updates. Friday will be update day usually. I would have done it this Friday but I was knackered everyone. I know that's kind of selfish, but I needed some rest. I had a party on Saturday, so I couldn't upload then. But, just enjoy this okay? Thank you for all of your support – it means a lot to me guys. :***

8. Words Hurt

(EPOV)

I couldn't stop thinking about Alice's words from last night as I drove into the parking lot of school. The 'bitch and dick' clan… What the actual fuck? I'm not that bad am I? I mean, seriously…

Monday is bad on its own. It's already been made worse due to the rain and now Emmet and Alice are ignoring me. Rose and Jasper are the same as always really. Rose never speaks to me anyway to be honest and Jasper is just… well he's typical Jasper.

I really just want this day to be over. It seems to always drag on the longest and it makes me just want to scream.

As I drove onto the school grounds, a lot earlier than usual, I saw a few cars there. One stood out the most and that was Bella's. Not just because it was ancient, but the fact that it was in fact Bella's was enough to draw my attention. I'm not too sure why.

I reached into my pocket to try and find my chewing gum and felt something else in there. I pulled it out for inspection only to be face to face with a fucking pen. I twisted it in my hand in confusion as to how it got there. I stopped when I saw some writing down it in a fancy script.

B…e…l…l…a…

Wha-? Oh… what the fuck? Why do I have her pen?

Emmet laughed beside me. I narrowed my eyes at him and he looked guilty as hell.

"What the fuck did you do, you moron?" He snapped at him.

"What?! It fell out of her pocket in the hospital. I thought maybe you would be more likely to bump into her than I am, so… You could give it to her."

"Or, make me look like a creep. She'll think I'm mad."

"Dude it's a pen, calm down. Why do you care anyway? You're a dick, remember?" he half shouted before getting out of the car and walking to the front doors of the school.

I didn't give the rain a second thought as I got out as well and my intention was to follow him and see what his problem was. The thing is… my legs had other plans.

Before I understood where I was going, I found myself standing outside of Bella's truck in the pouring rain. She was writing in a notebook I think - her windows were pretty steamed up - and she jumped when she noticed my presence.

The only thing I could think of doing was showing her the pen and that's what I did. She rolled down her window to get a better look I presumed.

She just stared at me in, what looked like, complete shock. I was confused… why is she so shocked that I have her pen? It could happen to anyone. Try telling yourself that Cullen. You're the one that got so pissed off about it in the car.

"Um… this was… in my pocket." I stared back at her.

It would be fair to say that I peed a little when her truck jolted towards me all of a sudden. I looked to the back to find a flat tyre.

She jumped out of her truck instantly not giving a shit about the rain. Her expression was priceless and I nearly laughed, but I couldn't.

The reason I couldn't laugh is because I was cut off when she groaned.

That was hot.

Woah. Hot? Nah, Bella Swan… Hot? No way.

Awkward silence. "I figured it was yours because your um, your name's on it." I stuttered stupidly. Seriously man?

Her cheeks blushed a delicious colour of red.

Again with the eating people thing Edward.

"I, um, thanks?" She sounded unsure.

"Don't ask why it was in my pocket because I have no idea." I lied to her.

"I wasn't going to." She said quietly.

After she spoke, I glanced behind me and when I turned back around, I had to do a double take. I hadn't noticed what she was wearing until now. I honestly thought I was seeing things.

She had on a tight, long sleeved, ocean blue blouse that showed everything. My eyes raked over her body uncontrollably. I didn't regret it because, when my eyes travelled further down her body, they found black disco pants and black converse.

Okay, blue? Definitely Bella's colour.

Did she do this on purpose?

I didn't mean to be weird, but my face sort of just lifted into a smile. Her eyes widened more at the gesture and I was actually about to tell her how… perfect… she looked but then something over her shoulder caught my eye.

I froze.

I internally cringed when I heard a stupid girly high pitched voice ringing through the air.

"Edward!"

Awk Tanya, fuck off! I wanted to shout so badly.

"Shit. No. Fuck me!" I hissed under my breath. I then suddenly hoped that Bella hadn't heard me.

"Ew!" She shouted. "Why are you standing next to that!"

Or in other words… Bella.

I didn't know how to respond. I thought of many things but came out with a simple "Nothing."

"Ew, you look like a mop." She glared at Bella. She was probably referring to Bella's wet hair. Honestly, I think it makes her look even more amazing. Better not say that one out loud.

Bella looked at Tanya and shuddered, either at the intensity of Tanya's gaze, or the cold. I couldn't tell which one.

She gave Tanya an overly polite smile and said the last thing I expected to leave her mouth.

"Well, you look like a clown.

It took everything I had not to explode in a fit of laughter at the expression on Tanya's face but I couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"Eddie! Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?!" Tanya screeched.

I froze again. Oh shit.

"No." I swallowed. I don't want to do this. Please, God, if you are there… don't make me do this!

"Then…" Tanya probed. People were starting to stare over at us all. A crowd was gonna gather if this wasn't ended.

Better now than any other time Edward. If you don't do it now, she's going to be even more humiliated if you do it in the hallways.

"Then…" I forced a glare at her and I just hoped she couldn't see the reluctance in my eyes… "What do you think gives you the right to speak to her that way? Did your mom ever teach you any manners?" I growled at her.

I didn't even consider the words I was saying before they were out.

I forgot about her family. Shit.

Let me die. Let me die right now, please!

Bella looked horrified at what I had just said and then Tanya actually had the nerve to laugh.

She turned to her truck, grabbed her books and moved quickly to the school.

I followed her with my eyes and saw my brother shaking his head at me from the school doors. It's sad that he knows what I just did. I just hope he doesn't find out what I said, otherwise he'll beat my ass.

Tanya and her sidekicks walked away and left me standing there like an emotionless idiot.

Take out the emotionless actually – that part isn't true. Because, I do feel an emotion…

Regret.

I wish I hadn't said that to her. It was wrong on so many levels.

That's the thing with words though… they hurt just as much as a shot to the stomach would.

I don't know what that girl has been through but nevertheless… she didn't deserve what I just did to her.

Tanya will have spread the words by the end of second period.

Another thing about words…

Once you have said them… you can't take them back.

**A/N: Oh dear Edward. Naughty boy. At least he can see her beauty… but… can he see past that? Leave a review everyone – make my night? :* - Lauren**


	9. Call Dad

**A/N: Hey guys. I haven't uploaded for a while, I know. I might be able to upload again tonight. I'm not sure. Thanks for all of your support in this story. I won't be uploading on my other ff just now but I will soon – I promise! Enjoy everyone as this is a pretty dramatic chapter…**

9. Call dad

(BPOV)

After the episode in the morning, the day just got worse and worse. I can't even justify an answer as to why he would say something as sick and cruel as that…

He knows… Everyone knows… That, that my family is gone… They all know.

So, why, just why would he do that to me?

I don't give a damn if he doesn't care about me in the slightest, but to turn around and say that in front of Tanya of all people… It's wrong.

I can't even cope.

* * *

(Back to the beginning of the day)

"Bella, Bella… it's okay. Are you okay? What do you need me to do?" Alice was trying to keep a low profile.

"I… I… He… I…" The sobs were uncontrollable.

"It's okay. Who? What did…? I…" She clearly didn't know what to do. She hugged me tighter.

The one person I probably shouldn't be confiding in… I had ended up confiding in…

"Sorry. I'm sorry. S-sorry." I stuttered trying to stop the tears.

"Why are you apologising? You did nothing wrong! Just calm down, okay? Let's um, let's go and sort this out. Come on." She pulled me along with her towards the cafeteria – keeping her arm around me and dodging out of everyone's way.

"It's still early so, let's… let's sit and…-" She was cut off when a loud voice cut in.

"Alice, what happened? Is she okay? What did he do to her?" Emmet rushed worriedly.

"I don't know. What did who do to her? She was too upset to talk… I don't know what to do." She admitted sheepishly.

"Edward." Emmet hissed.

"Edward?" Alice asked confusedly.

"Um, n-no." I sniffled.

"Bella…" Emmet said softly. "I saw in the parking lot."

Just the thought brought the tears back into my eyes again.

"No. Don't cry. Come this way and we'll sit down." Emmet's hands flapped about uselessly because he didn't know what to do to comfort me.

To be honest, I didn't know what he could do either. No one really has comforted me… or had the chance. I haven't broken down like this since… since my sister.

They pushed me down into a chair at the back corner of the cafeteria. I just hoped no one else saw me like this.

Alice was rubbing my back gently and I wanted to push her hand away but I didn't have the energy. Emmet was awkwardly patting my shoulder and my head – trying to comfort me to no avail. They were both making me more and more edgy.

Something suddenly caught Emmet's attention and his head snapped up to look over mine. His hand was on my shoulder and I could feel him shaking. I looked up at his face to see only pure anger in his eyes. I could see he was about to get up.

This was only going to cause trouble.

"Emmet…" I managed in a whisper.

He looked to me and his face was softer. "Yeah?"

"Please, just… don't." I begged and a whimper escaped my lips at the end.

He stared at me for a moment before he nodded in surrender.

"Hey Swan!" A male voice shouted from somewhere. Then an obvious Tanya pitched in… "I hope your sister didn't dress the same way you do! Slut! If she did… I hope she rots in hell."

That was it.

I started hyperventilating. Emmet was no longer beside me. Alice was panicking. People were shouting.

Everything was going bad.

"Emmet stop for a second!" Alice shouted from beside me. "Call dad. Now!" She shouted.

As soon as the words sounded, things went silent.

Doctor Cullen. Doctor Cullen. Why are they calling Doctor Cullen? Is someone hurt?

Then I realised.

I suddenly felt surrounded. I was shaking. I could barely breathe. I was whimpering.

What was happening to me?

"Dad? Dad!" Someone was saying in a shaky voice. Emmet. "You need to get to school now. Something's happening. It's Bella."

"Alice… Alice…" I started whispering. "Alice, I can't. I can't breathe." She was the only one I could manage to ask for. She was the closest thing I had to... to a friend right now.

She was rubbing my back, my hair, my cheeks… anywhere… trying to calm me.

"Dad, I'll explain later. Just get here now. She can't breathe." He paused. "Okay, I'll try."

Emmet was beside me again. "Bella, Bella! You have to look at me. Calm down, okay? My dad is coming."

"C… Carli…sle." I muttered dizzily.

"Yes. Carlisle."

* * *

(10 minutes later)

"Bella, I need to know. I need to know who started this…" Emmet watched me warily. "It's important."

"What is going on in here?" I heard a familiar teacher's voice shout out.

Someone was explaining to him what was going on in a matter of seconds.

I don't understand how they could explain it, considering I don't even know what's going on.

I couldn't put it off any longer. Edward deserves everything he gets.

I heard doors swinging open.

"Where is she?" I heard Carlisle shouting. "Everyone get out of the way now!" He ordered.

"C'mon Bella." Emmet tried to persuade. "Tell me."

"You're… you're broth…" I breathed out unable to continue.

The last thing I saw before everything went black was Emmet lunging for Edward.

**A/N: Did you like it? If you did follow/favourite. Guys, give me a quick review to let me know how you like this story. If you are not enjoying it, then there is no point in writing it! Constructive criticism is also welcome but, please, don't try and change the story. It's mine and I will do as I please with it. You will just have to wait and see ;) Review and love you guys loads. – Lauren :* **


	10. Problem

**A/N: I am uploading again. Thanks for the reviews so far. Hope you enjoy this. Oh naughty boy Edward aye? Finally on double digits ;) **

10. Problem

(EPOV)

"Awww, thank you baby." Tanya cuddled into my arm.

I nearly yanked it as hard as I possibly could away from her touch but I just settled with controlling the inner anger.

Yeah, my dad told me that to be honest.

I couldn't help the swirling of guilt in my stomach at what had just occurred. That must have hit a sore spot.

I mentally face palmed.

Of course it did you fucking moron. I can't believe you actually said that! How could you get so low Edward?

You see, this is what my gut was telling me.

Look at the way Tanya is hanging all over you and everyone is watching you, just the way it should be.

And this is what my head was telling me.

To be honest, neither was right.

The first one was the closest. In actual fact though, I was sinking beyond low.

_Did your mom ever teach you any manners?_

As I thought over the words I had said to her, hundreds of images from years ago filled my head. All my memories were coming back to haunt me at once.

1. My father giving Esme the news of Chief Swan's dead wife but the birth of a beautiful baby girl.

2. My mother in worry about the mysterious death of Chief Swan and seeing all of the search parties and newspaper articles flashing like a light switch in my mind.

3. The farewell to a special U.S Soldier.

4. The death of an amazing fighter.

5. The disappearance of that beautiful 7 year old.

6. The rumours began of a crazed Swan.

It was making me dizzy and I felt the need to just sit down and stop for a minute you know?

The rest of the student body was arriving at the school and things were getting noisier. I could barely hear myself think. Then, above all that, Tanya's fucking Barbie doll voice right in my god damn ear. I was ready to scream.

"Guys! Guys, guess what?" I heard Jessica Stanley calling from just behind us.

"Ooo, what?" Tanya asked enthusiastically.

"Emmet and Alice are taking Swan into the cafeteria. Something's going down in there!" She shouted excitedly before scurrying towards the said place.

Awww shit.

Tanya gasped. "Come on Eddie! Hurry or we'll miss it."

I found myself being dragged towards all of the 'excitement' and what I saw made me want to throw up my guilt.

I saw my brother's hand flailing randomly in the air and then him and my sister were pushing a very… exhausted… looking Bella down into a chair at the opposite side of the room from me.

Alice was rubbing Bella's back gently and Emmet just looked like a fucking idiot. He was patting her head and shoulders as if she were a dog. He should hug her or some shit like that.

Oh and how would you know Edward? You've never even tried to be nice to anyone, never mind comfort them.

You caused this… you complete and utter prick.

I started moving towards them subconsciously and I kicked a chair in the process. When Emmet's eyes met mine, I nearly ran.

Instead, I just froze. I didn't move and I didn't speak because I knew he was going to kill me in that second.

He began to get up but the girl, Bella I mean, said something and he just instantly changed. It's like; she somehow pulled the anger out of him just by speaking.

I started to wonder where Jazz and Rose were because they would back me up in this situation and maybe, just maybe, get me out of having a broken neck.

I caught Emmet nodding slowly and then I felt Tanya pulling at my sleeve. I turned to look down on her to see what the heck she wanted.

"Edward," She whispered. "Shout her name." I knew what she meant by 'her name'. "Do it or I'll tell them all about this morning…" She threatened.

I never thought the day would come that I would actually be slightly afraid of Tanya Denali.

"Hey Swan!" I shouted.

Holy shit. Did that just come out of my mouth? I actually considered walking myself over to Emmet so he could beat the shit out of me.

What Tanya said next… Let's just say that I found it difficult to keep my 'no hitting girls' rule intact.

"I hope your sister didn't dress the same way you do! Slut! If she did… I hope she rots in hell." She giggle afterwards.

That honestly did earn a number of 'too far' glares from around the room but I was too stunned at the fact someone could say something like that.

I think she got exactly what she wanted because things went real bad after that.

Numerous things began to take place simultaneously.

I could clearly see Bella physically shaking from where I was standing. Then, in what seemed like slow motion, Emmet was out of his seat and moving towards me. Alice was fluttering about around Bella – probably in panic mode.

Watching Bella though… The trembling became more intense, her shoulders were moving quicker and her whimpers were now within my hearing range.

It actually fucking hurt to see her like this. I don't know why it did. But, she just looked so broken and… just done.

"Emmet stop for a second!" Alice shouted from her place. "Call dad. Now!" She shouted.

When Alice's words processed in everyone's minds, the room went dead.

When Doctor. Carlisle Cullen is mentioned, things are fucking serious. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about Bella at this point in time.

Emmet swung back around to face them – whipping out his phone at the same time.

No one else was making a sound so I heard everything perfectly clear.

"Dad? Dad!" Emmet shakily shouted. "You need to get to school now. Something's happening. It's Bella."

"Alice… Alice…" Bella started whispering. "Alice, I can't. I can't breathe."

Some of the nicer kids were inching closer as if they could help somehow.

Alice was rubbing Bella's back, her hair, her cheeks… anywhere…

"Dad, I'll explain later. Just get here now. She can't breathe." He paused. "Okay, I'll try."

Emmet ran back to his place beside Bella. "Bella, Bella! You have to look at me. Calm down, okay? My dad is coming."

"C… Carli…sle." She murmured.

"Yes. Carlisle." Emmet confirmed for her benefit only.

Minutes and minutes of silence passed and no one was saying anything. I wanted to go and help but I couldn't literally force my feet to move. My brain just wasn't connected to my body. I guess it was sort of a good thing… it would only make things worse…

"Bella, I need to know. I need to know who started this…" Emmet watched her carefully as if she were going to disappear into thin air. "It's important."

"What is going on in here?" I heard Mr. Banner call out.

Tanya ran over explaining to him what was going on in a matter of seconds but probably twisting everything knowing her. He won't take her shit though. He knows her just as well as the rest of us do.

I don't understand how they could explain it, considering I don't think anyone knows what's going on… fully. The only two people that do are the two people who can't answer right now.

I heard doors swinging open from near me.

"Where is she?" I heard my father shouting. "Everyone get out of the way now!" He ordered.

"C'mon Bella." Emmet tried to persuade her. "Tell me."

"You're… you're broth…" she breathed out.

Emmet gave me the deadliest of glares.

I don't care anymore. I want him to hit me. I want him to put me in hospital because I fucking need to get away from here now.

I was too busy thinking about why I wanted him to hit me that I didn't even realise when he had tried to actually do it.

I had closed my eyes as I expected a large blow to the left side of my face but it never came. I stood waiting for something… anything. But, there was no pain. No impact.

What the…-?

I re-opened my eyes to find about 8 different people holding my brother back.

"Edward!" He shouted. "If I were you, I would get the fuck out of here!"

Once again, my feet wouldn't move. Something was holding me in my place and it must be for a good reason.

I scanned my brain for any idea as to why this was happening and my eyes, on their own accord, moved over Emmet's shoulder to focus on Bella.

Then I realised why I wasn't moving.

Bella had collapsed and there was currently 4 different people trying to get her on a stretcher, move people out of the way and figure out what the fuck was going on.

Somehow, my mind knew this before I did and that's why I was still standing there.

My eyes went wide as I realised how pale she was. I had seen my grandfather's corpse at his funeral and I swear he had more colour in him than Bella does at this moment in time.

Emmet followed my gaze and his guards were let down. He allowed people to pull him back and after a few seconds he followed the stretcher – along with Alice – out to the ambulance.

Carlisle walked over to me quickly and I just stared at him.

The way he looked at me suggested he knew that this was my fault. We may have a problem here…

His parting words sent a shiver down my spine.

"The first step to solving any problem son… is realising there is one."

It's like he just read my mind.

He's right though. We _do_ have a serious problem here.

A problem that I need to fix.

Yet another problem is added on because…

How the fuck am I going to fix this without ruining everything and everyone?

Or maybe the question is… Can I?

**A/N: Oohhh the drama everyone. Hope you liked this. It was fun to write. Review? – Lauren :***


	11. Just Peachy Perfect

**A/N: Cba with AN tonight. Glad you are all enjoying and I know Edward is a 'Class A pr*ck' for now but there are two sides to every person. Thanks for all the amazing feedback I've had. You are all wonderful and just perfect. Also, the amount of reviews is epic and I'm overjoyed that you appear to be enjoying this. **

"**There are 7 billion people in this world and 14 billion faces." **

11. Just Peachy Perfect

I awoke to a steady beating noise coming from somewhere close beside me. To say that I was confused would be a serious understatement.

I felt a soft prodding on my wrist and looked to my left to find Carlisle standing tall. He was obviously checking my pulse.

I tried to remember what happened but my mind was blank.

"Mmm…" I moaned groggily unable to find my voice properly.

"Oh, Bella, you're awake." Carlisle spoke happily.

I didn't say anything because I was still trying to figure this out. I was in the cafeteria at school, did I fall?

No, that couldn't be right.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" He questioned.

"I'm fine." I replied tiresomely.

Did someone hit me? My head hurts.

"Do you know where you are?"

I looked around me and after a second of thought I came to a conclusion. "The hospital?"

He nodded. "Do you know _why _you are here?"

"Well, I… I… not really." I admitted.

"Not really?" He repeated confused.

"I remember that something happened in school – in the cafeteria. I don't know what though…" I trailed off.

"Do you remember anything that was said? Who was involved?"

"Ehm, I think your sons and daughter were there…" In fact, I'm sure they were there. "Al… Yeah, Alice was next to me the whole time."

"She was, yes, anyone else? What were they doing?"

"I'm, I'm not sure. Emmet, I think, was getting angry." I paused. "Oh! The last thing I remember is Emmet having a go at Edw…-" I froze.

Realisation hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don't know why or how, but I knew for a fact that Edward was the centre of all of this.

"What's wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked worriedly.

"Edward." I finished my sentence.

"This is his fault." I added on quickly.

"How do you know this if you can't remember?" he contradicted me.

"I don't know." I snapped. "I just do."

This wasn't making any sense. He barely talks to me. I mean, we've bumped into each other a couple of times but we've never had a proper conversation. Him, being the most popular guy in school, just didn't do that sort of thing.

"Alright. Would you like me to explain what is going on here?" He asked softly before taking a seat on the end of the bed.

I nodded hesitantly.

Truth be told, I don't know if I really wanted to hear this.

"I'm not going to go into all the details because the last thing we need is for you to get upset again. I don't know the whole story – Emmet is your best man there – but I do know that this was caused by things some people were saying. The things that were said were truly horrible and it's disgusting that any person would say any of those things. I will be the first to admit that from my sources, Edward has played a big part in this. If I'm honest, I don't think it's completely his fault Bella." He watched me carefully.

"Oh, I know it's not. He has never been that cruel to me before." I frowned as memories flooded my mind. "We bumped into each other a few times and he was always so… nice… to me. Emmet was there once as well. I think it was when Tanya showed up, that things started going badly."

"Emmet said something along those lines as well. Apparently, Edward had said something to upset you…?"He probed.

Click.

That was the light switch being flicked on in my head.

I gasped.

"H-he said something, something about my mum."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know what on earth he said, but I lost it." I shrugged my shoulders as if the memories would fade.

"Okay, in the cafeteria someone shouted something across the room. Once again I am aware that Edward was involved in this as well. But, Tanya 'sent you over the edge' according to Alice. Emmet called my cell phone panicking and saying that you couldn't breathe. When I arrived, people were crowding the entrance and Emmet was about to punch Edward square on in the jaw. People were holding him back but then what really caught my eye, was when you fell to the ground."

I was shocked. I don't remember falling.

"You hit your head off of the table on the way down and you have a small bump here…" He tapped gently on the right sight of my forehead.

None of this explains why I am still here though.

"We had to keep you sedated because you were panicking every time you woke up and this caused trouble with your breathing. You were thrashing and shouting at people to get away from you." He began.

"I don't remember that." I mumbled.

"Bella, it appears that you are suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder."

"Wait, what?" I scowled. "How is that possible?"

"I thought that at first. I realised though, that because of the words people were saying, the things that happened to you began to become a reality once again Bella. It is likely that hearing these words provoked your mind and you started getting flashbacks. From then on out, things got worse. The more people spoke, the more you trembled and the more flashbacks you had, the more you panicked." He explained. "You saw there was no way out of it once it had started. In actual fact there is always a way out, but you let your mind take over your body."

I stared at him in fear.

"Don't look so scared. This is a common thing after traumatic events." Carlisle assured me. "There are things that you are not going to remember – things we've already established that you can't remember. It's all part of the condition though, okay?"

I nodded.

"Now, I need you to get some sleep. You've had a long day and it's now… going on 7.45pm. We will keep you in overnight and then take things from there. You've had lots to deal with, so we'll discuss this further tomorrow." He walked to the door and turned to look back at me.

"Good night, Bella. Sleep well." He smiled before exiting the room leaving me dumbfounded.

* * *

Do you know when you have a really dramatic dream but you can't remember bits of it and you really want to?

That's what this feels like.

I know roughly what happened, but there are so many blanks to fill in that create a sort of dream like effect. I hate it.

It's as if the whole thing never happened.

**A/N: Review lovelies. Good night all and sweet dreams. – Lauren :***


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